From the archives

Current tea cupboard – view of the bottom shelf

and the top shelf.

Adventures in Customer Service
From the archives… (Sometime in Summer, 2004)

Jenanne found this dialogue, written on a piece of looseleaf paper as she was cleaning and organizing. Sometimes customer service interactions are so bizarre and unbelievable that they must be written down and shared.

The cast:
First guy (white-haired)
Jenanne the tea server
Second guy (balding, skinnier George Costanza)

FG: Do you have “Red Rose” Orange Pekoe?

JTS: We have Orange Pekoe, but not “Red Rose.” We don’t have tea bags here, just full-leaf tea.

FG: Well, what kind of Orange Pekoe do you have?

JTS: Full-leaf Ceylon tea from India.

FG: Hmmm. I don’t think I want tea from India.

JTS [in her head]: Your “Red Rose” tea was probably picked there too, you know! That’s where tea grows!

JTS: It will taste the same, if not better than “Red Rose,” as it isn’t in a tea bag.

[He relents.]

SG: I’ll have a good tea. Surprise me.

JTS: Well, would you like black tea, green tea…

SG: Just give me a good guy tea.

JTS: I don’t think tea is gendered.

SG: Well, I don’t want any of that fruity Orange Pekoe stuff.

JTS: Oh, but Orange Pekoe isn’t flavoured.

SG: Oh, hey look! They’ve got Samurai tea! Samurai, look!

JTS: Well, that one’s actually –

JTS [in her head]: Oh, the delicious irony of the fact that Samurai is delicately flavoured with orange and vanilla – and you think it’s a “guy tea.”

SG: I’ll have some of that! Yeah.

The end.

o